{"id":44,"date":"2017-10-31T19:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-10-31T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/2017\/10\/31\/kun-perhe-hajoaa\/"},"modified":"2017-10-31T19:00:00","modified_gmt":"2017-10-31T17:00:00","slug":"kun-perhe-hajoaa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/kun-perhe-hajoaa\/","title":{"rendered":"Kun perhe hajoaa"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\nScroll down for the English translation for:”When family breaks down”.<\/i><\/p>\n

Koko perhe k\u00e4velee maamiinoja varoen. Varotaan, ettei tilanne r\u00e4j\u00e4hd\u00e4. Silt\u00e4 ainakin tuntuu useimpina p\u00e4ivin\u00e4. Toisaalta me k\u00e4vellemme jollain tapaa munankolluorilla. Varotaan, ettei “jotain” mene rikki.<\/p><\/div>\n

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\nRikki on kuitenkin mennyt kaikki. Tavallaan koko el\u00e4m\u00e4. Vaikka tukiverkko ja puoliso ovat pit\u00e4neet lapsille yll\u00e4 sit\u00e4 t\u00e4rke\u00e4ksi puhuttua rutiinia, on \u00e4idin sairastuminen vaikuttanut heid\u00e4nkin el\u00e4m\u00e4\u00e4n. Luonnollisesti. \u00c4iti nukkuu koko ajan. \u00c4iti on sairaalassa. Lapsi tiet\u00e4\u00e4 lastenohjelmista, ettei sairaalaan menn\u00e4 jos ei ole hyvin sairaana. Sit\u00e4h\u00e4n \u00e4iti on, vaikka ei sit\u00e4 edelleenk\u00e4\u00e4n itse sis\u00e4ist\u00e4. <\/div>\n
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\n\u00c4iti on niin monella tapaa hajalla. Sis\u00e4ll\u00e4 on niin valtavan paljon tunnemyrsky\u00e4. Vaikka sit\u00e4 k\u00e4sittelee, niin usein j\u00e4\u00e4 vellomaan paha olo. Se purkautuu. Puolisolle. Lapsille. \u00c4iti ei jaksa komentaa ensin siev\u00e4sti. \u00c4iti karjuu. \u00c4iti itkett\u00e4\u00e4 lapsia. \u00c4idill\u00e4 on sen j\u00e4lkeen viel\u00e4 pahempi olla. Tuntuu, ett\u00e4 koko el\u00e4m\u00e4 on muruina k\u00e4siss\u00e4. <\/div>\n
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\nOlen huomannut, ett\u00e4 olen monella tapaa perheen liima. No jokseenkin neuroottinen, sitkas, hieman vanhentunut halpaliima. Liima kuitenkin. Liima, joka ei t\u00e4ll\u00e4 hetkell\u00e4 pid\u00e4 kasassa mit\u00e4\u00e4n. On helppoa sanoa, ett\u00e4 nyt ainakin on pakko miehelle opetella ja n\u00e4hd\u00e4 mit\u00e4 kaikkea min\u00e4 “joudun” tekem\u00e4\u00e4n. Helppoa ja ilke\u00e4\u00e4. Perheess\u00e4 on ollut monella tapaa selv\u00e4 ty\u00f6jako. Jos tilanne olisikin toisinp\u00e4in ja puolisi olisi sairaana, j\u00e4isi meill\u00e4 koti rempalleen ja olisin hukassa. Niin kai puolisonikin on. Hukassa. T\u00e4m\u00e4 on h\u00e4nelle monella tapaa pelottavaa ja ahdistavaa. Miehet ja omista tunteista puhuminen tiedet\u00e4\u00e4n. Kattila, jossa painetta on liikaa, r\u00e4j\u00e4ht\u00e4\u00e4. Kaksi r\u00e4j\u00e4hdysaltista saa aikaa joskus hallitsemattoman roihun.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\nSairaus on kolauttanut egoani monella tapaa. Minun kroppa. Minun el\u00e4m\u00e4. Eih\u00e4n se oikeasti ole minun. Kaikki on lainassa. Yliloukkaantunut ego ei meinaa kest\u00e4\u00e4 nyt mit\u00e4\u00e4n ulkopuolelta tulevaa loukkausta. Ei yht\u00e4\u00e4n lis\u00e4\u00e4 vastoink\u00e4ymist\u00e4, ei neuvoa, ei muiden hankalaa oloa. Se yritt\u00e4\u00e4 pit\u00e4\u00e4 minut koossa. T\u00e4m\u00e4 on kipe\u00e4\u00e4. Hirve\u00e4n kipe\u00e4\u00e4. Pienin askelein uskallan kuitenkin haavoittua lis\u00e4\u00e4, koska tied\u00e4n, ett\u00e4 sen haavoittuvuuden takana odottaa eheys. <\/div>\n
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\nEl\u00e4m\u00e4\u00e4n v\u00e4liin mahtuu kuitenkin paljon my\u00f6s naurua, ilon hetki\u00e4, halauksia, anteeksipyynt\u00f6\u00e4 ja monta kertaa p\u00e4iv\u00e4ss\u00e4 ” I love you” and ” Rakastan sinua”. Jo vuosien saatossa nuo sanat ovat saaneet eri merkityksen. Nyt ne hioutuvat viel\u00e4 enemm\u00e4n. Rakkaus ei ole en\u00e4\u00e4 tunne. Se on ankkuri, johon voi tarttua kiinni silloin kun ymp\u00e4rill\u00e4 ja sis\u00e4ll\u00e4 myrsky\u00e4\u00e4. Se pit\u00e4\u00e4 koko perheen pinnalla. Se kest\u00e4\u00e4. T\u00e4m\u00e4nkin ajan ja tulevan.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\nBlogissa voi viel\u00e4 t\u00e4m\u00e4n viikon ajan osallistua mahtavaan arvontaa. Arvonta ja alekoodi ihanaan Dress Like Marie-liikkeen kanssa tehtyyn yhteisty\u00f6postaukseen on t\u00e4ss\u00e4.<\/a>
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The English translation: The whole family is walking on landmines. Being careful that the situation does not explode. At least that how it feels like on most days. On the other hand we walk on eggshells that this fragile life does not break.<\/i>
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\nThis illness has broken down our family. Mummy is sleeping all time, unable to do things she usually would. She is often in the hospital and children know from children’s TV that you only go to hospital if it something serious. Mummy is broken in so many ways. Constant processing in her head, uncomfortable feelings and at some point they explodes out to the husband and children. I often feel I am just trying to hold crumbs of my life in my hands.<\/i>
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\nI have notice, that in many ways I am the glue in the family. My husband had to venture on to New territories in looking after our home and children. We always have had clear roles in our family. Yeah, at least now he has to see what and how much I usually do. Easy to say and nasty thing to say. I would be completely lost if tables were turned. I can imagine just how scary all of this is for him. And men and talking about their feelings is nonexistent. It’s more like a boiling pan that eventually explodes as do I and we make a fire – not in a good way.<\/i>
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\nThis illness has been hard on my ego in many ways. My life, my body. That’s really not true. It is all just for a loan. Ego is fragile for any comments from anyone. It cannot take any other hardship, no advices or other people’s bad days. It is just trying to keep me in one piece. This is painful. Too painful. With small steps I can open up to vulnerable as I know behind hardships and vulnerability waits becoming whole again. <\/i>
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\nLife still consists of laughter, moments of joy, cuddles, forgiveness and many “I love you”s. As years have gone by the meaning of love has had a new meaning. Love is not  just the lovely feeling. It is the anchor which our family can hold onto when there are storms in- and outside. It keeps our amily from drowning. It holds now and in the days to come.<\/i><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Scroll down for the English translation for:”When family breaks down”. Koko perhe…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[28,2,51,70],"acf":[],"platta":{"numLikes":0,"numComments":0,"category":null,"themes":[],"commercial_partner":null,"thumbnail":"https:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/-9NzMgE3sM-k\/WfiqyhVBvuI\/AAAAAAAAAms\/ugyYHk9OBnc1RniRVAVQVb44IS-bRkgvACLcBGAs\/s640\/IMG_6600.JPG","blog_id":86},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}