{"id":24,"date":"2018-01-25T19:44:00","date_gmt":"2018-01-25T17:44:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/2018\/01\/25\/kauhea-ketutus-rakaitkut-ja-tumma-turkoosi\/"},"modified":"2018-01-25T19:44:00","modified_gmt":"2018-01-25T17:44:00","slug":"kauhea-ketutus-rakaitkut-ja-tumma-turkoosi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/kauhea-ketutus-rakaitkut-ja-tumma-turkoosi\/","title":{"rendered":"Kauhea ketutus, r\u00e4k\u00e4itkut ja tumma turkoosi"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\nT\u00e4n\u00e4\u00e4n huomasin yhden p\u00e4\u00e4ns\u00e4ryn aiheuttajan. R\u00e4k\u00e4itkut. Kai kaikki tiet\u00e4\u00e4 ne. Ne itkut, jossa itkett\u00e4\u00e4 niin paljon, ett\u00e4 ei ehdi hakemaan nen\u00e4liinaa r\u00e4\u00e4n juostessa jo yl\u00e4huulelle. Toiselta nimelt\u00e4 ne rumat itkut. <\/div>\n
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\nMiksi t\u00e4n\u00e4\u00e4n itketti? Ketutti niin mahdottoman paljon, ett\u00e4 se purkautui ulos itkuna. Maanantain postauksessa kerroi<\/a>n, kuinka vointi oli alkanut menn\u00e4 alasp\u00e4in. Se alam\u00e4ki jatkui. Eilen nukuin melkein koko p\u00e4iv\u00e4n. Illalla aloin tyhjent\u00e4\u00e4 astioita astianpesukoneesta. Kahden lautasen j\u00e4lkeen oli pakko luovuttaa. Sen verran kovaa uupumus oli. Jaloissa alkaa tuttu v\u00e4symyksen tunne ja t\u00e4rin\u00e4 muutamien metrien matkan j\u00e4lkeen. Eli taas p\u00e4ivystykseen. Sen enemp\u00e4\u00e4 en siit\u00e4 reissusta kerro, kuin ett\u00e4 sen seurauksena t\u00e4m\u00e4n p\u00e4iv\u00e4n fiiliksin\u00e4 on ollut ep\u00e4toivo, suru ja ketutus. Onneksi niiss\u00e4 ei kuitenkaan ole p\u00e4\u00e4ssyt kovin kauaa vellomaan, koska nukuin kolmen tunnin p\u00e4iv\u00e4unet. N\u00e4in hyvin el\u00e4vi\u00e4 unia. Manasin pois pahoja henki\u00e4 kartanosta, jonka olin jostain syyst\u00e4 saanut haltuuni. Ehk\u00e4 tuo kuvaa hyvin unen aikaista aivojen puhdistamista ja tunteiden k\u00e4sittely\u00e4.<\/p>\n
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\nSairaus ei ole ainoa asia, joka tuottaa hetkitt\u00e4ist\u00e4 ahdistusta. Pitk\u00e4aikainen sairaus ja sen aiheuttama ep\u00e4varmuus ty\u00f6kyvyst\u00e4. Niiden aiheuttama taloudellinen tiukkuus py\u00f6rii usein mieless\u00e4. Toisaalta huonomminkin voisi menn\u00e4. T\u00e4ss\u00e4 taas p\u00e4\u00e4semme siihen hetkess\u00e4 el\u00e4miseen. Mik\u00e4 t\u00e4ss\u00e4 hetkess\u00e4 on huonosti? P\u00e4\u00e4t\u00e4 hieman kolottaa ja olo on v\u00e4synyt? Mik\u00e4 on hyvin? Meid\u00e4n perheell\u00e4 on katto p\u00e4\u00e4n p\u00e4\u00e4ll\u00e4 ja olo kyll\u00e4inen miehen kokkaaman ruoan j\u00e4ljilt\u00e4. Lapset ovat terveit\u00e4 ja sy\u00f6t\u00e4v\u00e4n suloisia. Ja se minun mies… maalasi olohuoneen sein\u00e4n ja laittoin valokuvahyllyt paikoilleen sen lis\u00e4ksi, ett\u00e4 halaa pitk\u00e4\u00e4n ja sanoo, ett\u00e4 kyll\u00e4 t\u00e4m\u00e4 t\u00e4st\u00e4. Oikeassahan mies on. Kyll\u00e4 t\u00e4m\u00e4 t\u00e4st\u00e4.<\/p>\n
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\nJa hei. Sain vihdoin ja viimeinkin aikaiseksi avata Instagram-tilin blogille. Instagramiin l\u00f6ytyy linkki blogin yl\u00e4reunasta ja t\u00e4st\u00e4<\/a>. K\u00e4yk\u00e4\u00e4h\u00e4n klikkaamassa “seuraa”. <\/div>\n

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\nSummary in English of ” Peed of, ugly cry and teal coloured wall”<\/b>: Yesterday I cried. The ugly cry where snot is running down to your lip where you just don’t have time to get a tissue. I am feeling so angry and frustrated that the feelings just came out as a big cry. As I told on Monday, my legs started to feel increasingly weak. I was trying to empty the dishwasher. I had to quit after two plates. It was too exhausting for me. Fatigue and weakness of legs have returned and symptoms are as bad as last summer. I went to see the on call neurologist to A&E. Not going say more about that. I just feel hopeless, angry and sad. <\/i><\/div>\n
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\nOn top of the illness, financial instability has been lot on my mind. Chronic illness and uncertain future of my ability to work has caused very tight budget in our household. The again things could be worse. We just finished lovely meal cooked by my husband. We have roof over our head. Our beautiful children and healthy and my lovely husband… he painted our sitting room wall and put up picture shelves. And he hugged me tight saying everything will be ok. And you know what. Everything will be ok.<\/i><\/div>\n
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\nDo follow my blog on instagram: @mariaisstrongblog<\/i><\/div>\n
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(Scroll down for English summary) T\u00e4n\u00e4\u00e4n huomasin yhden p\u00e4\u00e4ns\u00e4ryn aiheuttajan. R\u00e4k\u00e4itkut. Kai…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[12,41,39,14],"acf":[],"platta":{"numLikes":0,"numComments":0,"category":null,"themes":[],"commercial_partner":null,"thumbnail":"https:\/\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/-GxECo-jJN28\/WmoJV_BaGEI\/AAAAAAAAAyI\/I6N6Ml7bk94m4u1lqZu72zYVHPPmTB9RACLcBGAs\/s640\/IMG_6883.JPG","blog_id":86},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogit.terve.fi\/mariaisstrong\/api\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}